


you only live forever in the lights you make

by niqaeli



Series: thirty drops in a glass [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children
Genre: Boys being dumb about feelings, M/M, Multi, and the one being reasonably smart about them is probably not the one you expect, fluffy polycule feels, metamours being adorbs, queerplatonic feels, so many background pairings, well…boy—singular—being dumb about feelings anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:02:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25122859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niqaeli/pseuds/niqaeli
Summary: Zack has always—always—made sure to only ever accept exactly what Cloud offers him, to never hold on too tight, letting go easily and lightly the secondCloudstepped back, horrified at the idea of ever making Cloud feel trapped or obliged.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Series: thirty drops in a glass [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733563
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	you only live forever in the lights you make

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hey! _Another_ post-script to the giant fucking novel I still haven't finished! Maybe I'll manage to get the fucking prequel novella done and publish it next! (I don't know exactly how long it's going to be, yet, but it has to be finished and published before the novel anyway as the novel honestly makes no sense whatsoever without the context you get in the prequel, ahahaha.)
> 
> Anyway, short summary of the novel, for basic context: Sephiroth got rescued from Jenova by Aerith, and also Zack and Aerith then came back as well For Reasons (they were actually good Reasons). There Was Plot; it was all Very Epic. Everyone survived to get a happy ending and looooots of relationships happened along the way creating an extended polycule (known affectionately as the Clusterfuck to many both within and without it) among various of our ex-AVALANCHE and Shinra/Turks, that is a tangled, tangled web.
> 
> Background pairings discussed or mentioned in passing in _this_ particular fic include: Tifa/Aerith, Cloud/Tifa, Cloud/Reno, Zack/Aerith, Cloud/Aerith, Tifa/Rude, Tifa/Reno, Rude/Reno. I'm just not cluttering the tags with them, because they are very much only in the background.
> 
> This one's set quite a bit farther along than _the magnificent end_ which is a few weeks after the novel concludes; this one is the better part of a year after the events of the novel.

Zack locks the doors behind the last guest, swearing softly. It had been an awful shift, the kind of bullshit that makes people superstitious about full moons; it's usually relatively quiet in the middle of the week even on the dinner shift and it hadn't been that _busy_ , but they'd had every kind of weird, crazy asshole you could ask for.

He's got a bar to finish cleaning, but Zack pauses to take in the blessed fucking _quiet_ and pour himself a stiff measure of the barrel-aged whiskey cocktail he's been screwing around with over the good ice, and drops a cherry in it.

Zack blinks when Cloud comes out of the kitchen and sits next to him; he blinks more when Cloud steals his drink and takes a sip. "You know, I can make you your own," Zack says.

Cloud smiles slyly. "Stolen tastes better," he says, sliding it back. "Where's Aerith?"

"Took off with Tifa an hour ago to go hunting some flower, I don't remember what, it only blooms at night?" Zack says. He hadn't blamed Aerith for wanting to get the fuck out once it had finally calmed down; he'd shooed her off figuring someone should salvage a decent night out of it.

Cloud nods. And then Cloud leans over and _kisses him_ and all Zack knows, for a brief moment, is pure static. When he starts processing input again, he knows at some point he must have dragged Cloud closer to him because Cloud's standing and he's got his arms around Cloud, shaking a little as he holds Cloud tightly. "What brought that on?" he asks and if his voice comes out a little broken, well, it's not like he's going to be able to pretend he's completely fine when Cloud can feel him shaking.

Cloud shrugs slightly. "Tifa said to," he says, simply. Zack laughs helplessly because that shouldn't be an explanation but, with those two, it is.

Zack closes his eyes after a moment, and lets himself keep holding Cloud since Cloud isn't pulling away. He'd sworn to himself he wasn't ever going to ask any more of Cloud than Cloud offered first, not after everything, and he's stayed true to that. It's sometimes really fucking distracting watching Cloud around Tifa and Reno and Aerith, easy and free, and affection spilling over to others around them but Zack's counted himself incredibly lucky to see Cloud happy in a way Zack had never seen him even before Nibelheim and left it at that, gladly.

He opens his eyes when Cloud kisses him again. "Not that I'm complaining," Zack says, after a moment, "But I do actually have to finish up closing down the bar or Tifa will have my hide."

Cloud steps back and gently shoves him off the barstool, sitting down in his place. "Go on," he says. "I already finished up in the kitchen."

Zack goes back around the counter and pauses when he sees his phone showing a message notification from… about when Aerith had left, actually; he just hasn't checked it since. _💐Aerith: get him, tiger! 🐯_ He starts laughing again, because _of course_ Tifa had told Aerith what she'd told Cloud to do.

Cloud sits there and Zack is pretty fucking sure Cloud is aware how obscene he looks when he fishes the cherry out of the drink with a toothpick and pops it in his mouth. "Distracting me is only going to make this take longer," Zack says, drily.

"Got somewhere you need to be? Hot date waiting for you?" Cloud asks, sipping Zack's drink and Zack does, in fact, know Cloud is a little shit and enjoys teasing the fuck out of people but he has never had it turned on him _quite_ like this. He suddenly has a lot more sympathy for Reno, who catches most of it when Cloud's like this.

"What would you do if I said I did?" Zack asks, genuinely curious.

"Ask to meet them," Cloud says, simply. "And grill Aerith for anything she knew about them. They'd have to meet the rest of us at some point, anyway."

Zack scrubs his face, snickering to himself at the thought while he starts pulling up all the rubber mats around the bar. "Who the fuck else _would_ I date, anyway?"

Cloud tilts his head consideringly. "Bet Alex could find you someone. Pretty, adventurous, open-minded," he says, thoughtfully.

Zack shakes his head, tossing the mats in the dishwasher and starts it up. He grabs a clean rag and the disinfectant and starts cleaning the bar itself. Cloud obligingly leans away from the counter when Zack gets to his seat. "This is still too sweet, you know," Cloud says, sipping Zack's drink.

Zack rolls his eyes. "Cloud, you say that about _everything_ I mix, how the fuck did the SOLDIER sweet tooth miss you?"

"I don't!" Cloud protests. "I liked the thing with the tea you made last week, that was really good."

Zack finishes wiping everything down and tosses the rag in the bucket of used rags, and finishes squaring the last few things away. "You are literally the only person other than Rude who did," he says, reaching across the bar to take his drink back. He finishes it, dumps the ice, and puts the glass in the spare dirty dish rack to run tomorrow.

When he comes around the counter, Cloud shoves him against the wall; Cloud starts tugging at the hem of Zack's tank top and licking at the underside of Zack's jaw, too. "Seriously, though, since when do you want anything like this from me?" Zack asks, looking up at the ceiling and determinedly ignoring the way his cock is stirring with interest until he gets an answer. Cloud laughs against his neck. "I _didn't_ ," he says. "Until I kissed you and you kissed back like _that_. I don't _want_ , except in response. Tifa's just smarter than me, or you."

Zack blinks at the ceiling. That does explain… a lot, actually.

"There is a very comfortable bed in the back," Cloud says, in his ear, and Zack shivers. Cloud happy and sane in a world not about to end, Aerith not slipping away bit by bit while Zack slipped away too—that had been _enough_. More than Zack had ever thought he'd get. His brain feels like it's going to fall out, with Cloud pressed up against him like this.

Cloud pulls away, tugging him towards the back and his bedroom. The bed is frankly absurd, taking up most of the room. "You could _actually_ have an orgy on this thing," Zack says, reflexively sarcastic as he throws himself on it, wallowing for a moment before sitting back up. Cloud's right, though, it _is_ comfortable, there's some kind of foam top but it has solidity under that. He starts tugging at his boot laces, loosening them up enough to get them off.

"At what point _is_ it an orgy?" Cloud asks, thoughtfully, as he slips his own shoes off. "I wouldn't want to fit more than five on it."

Zack cracks up, tossing his boots on the floor. "Pretty sure five qualifies. I'm pretty sure more than _three_ qualifies, Cloud."

Cloud cocks his head, one hand on his hip, considering Zack. "Does it count if two of the four don't have sex with each other? If it does, it sees an orgy most nights Reno and Rude are over."

Zack shakes with laughter while Cloud pulls his clearly stolen from Reno t-shirt off. "Pretty, adventurous, open-minded," Zack parrots back. "So, _you_?"

Cloud rolls his eyes. "Sure," he says. Zack looks up at him, drinking in the sight of Cloud's slim, toned musculature. He's beautiful, yes, but even more—he's _healthy_.

When Cloud kneels on the bed, straddling him, Zack lets himself kiss back the way he wants to, slow and savouring it, his hands flat as they move against Cloud's back, Cloud's skin warm underneath them. They kiss, and kiss, and Zack could kiss Cloud like this forever—but eventually Cloud pulls back, licking his lips. "You're over-dressed," he says. Zack stares at him for a long moment before his brain catches up and processes the words and he lets go of Cloud.

Cloud goes for Zack's belt, first, pulling it free before tugging the zipper of his jeans down. "You're _still_ wearing moogle boxers," Cloud snorts. "I don't know why I'm surprised."

Zack lifts his hips up enough to let Cloud pull his jeans down past his hips. "The guy who wears _obscene moogle t-shirts_ because they smell like his boyfriend can shut the fuck up about my underwear," Zack says, letting Cloud finish skinning him out of his jeans. Cloud laughs, and reaches for Zack's cock, his hand warm even through the silk of Zack's boxers. Zack bites down on his lip when Cloud wraps his hand around it, tugging gently. " _You're_ still wearing pants," Zack manages to say, even though his brains feel like they're leaking a little the way his cock is, too.

Cloud lets go, and reaches into the waistband of the loose cotton pants he's wearing and tugs down, taking his underwear and his pants off together in one smooth motion. Zack stares, entranced; Cloud is hard, his hips a pure slab of muscle Zack wants to gnaw on. "Fuck, you're beautiful," he breathes, reaching out to run a thumb over that muscle.

There's a glint at the very top of Cloud's cock and Zack reaches for that too, curious, and finds a small curved metal barbell running through the ridge of the head of it, very warm to the touch. "When the _fuck_ did you get your cock pierced?" Zack asks. He feels like he would have noticed that the last time they'd talked in the Lifestream? Zack hadn't had any power but he'd been semi-omniscient and he'd been paying _extremely_ close attention to Cloud at the time.

"Couple months ago. Reward for not _actively_ fucking with Barret when he showed up unannounced like an asshole and freaked out," Cloud says, arching a little into Zack's touch.

"Reward for _who_ , though?" Zack asks, a little morbidly; he knows people _do_ but he still can't really imagine letting someone run a needle through his cock for _fun_. It is pretty, though, like the rest of Cloud; beautiful and solid.

"Hurt less than getting skewered or shot does," Cloud says and Zack bites his cheek because of _course_ that's Cloud's comparison. It's also kind of amazing the way Cloud can pick up on _that_ subtext without someone pointing it out, but not much more basic shit. "And it's something I chose."

Zack leans down to put his mouth against it, tongue finding the smooth edges of the metal and the rougher skin of Cloud's cock, because right now he can't think of a better response. "Beautiful," he says, softly. Cloud pushes his shoulders back until Zack is on his back, and lies on top of him, kissing him. Cloud's weight is a balm, the solid muscle proof that he's healthy. SOLDIERs run gaunt if they're not careful, and even if Cloud _technically_ never was one he got a worse dose of everything than anyone but Seph.

Cloud reaches down for Zack's cock, pulling the silk of his boxers tight around it, and Zack shoves his hips into that soft pressure. The thing that's wrecking him now isn't even the fact that Cloud, whole and hale, is touching him like this—amazing as that is. It's the way Cloud seems utterly focused on it, the kiss turning more into shared breathing than active kissing while Cloud works out what kinds of movements drag noises out of him. The torturously slow movements Cloud settles on eventually have Zack scrabbling at the covers under him, cursing under his breath against Cloud's lips.

Cloud runs his right hand down the side of Zack's neck, runs it down over Zack's tank top to its bottom hem, and shoves the tank top up and out of his way even as he lets go of Zack's cock with his other hand; Zack can't help the pathetic noise he makes at the loss. Cloud tugs his boxers out of the way entirely and then there's warm _skin_ against his cock and not just warm soft fabric, which almost makes up for it. Cloud sits up, putting his weight back onto Zack's legs and the air is cooler, making him shiver, before Zack is back to pure static briefly as Cloud puts one hand on his hip and wraps his mouth around the head of Zack's cock.

"Fuck, Cloud," Zack breathes as Cloud pulls back and starts licking his way down the underside of it, mapping out every inch of skin with his tongue. He works his way back up the side just as slowly and Zack is leaking enough he can feel small droplets of pre-come falling onto his bared belly. Cloud pauses again to suck on the head of his cock and swallow around it briefly, before lapping at the wet trails left on the rest of Zack. Zack's abs twitch under the attention and the noises he's making at this point are honestly just fucking _embarrassing_. Cloud just goes back to what he was doing, mouthing his way down the other side, and only when he's finally, _finally_ done does he put his hand back around Zack's cock, warm and wet and slow.

It only takes a few strokes, Cloud rubbing his thumb over the tip of his leaking, wet head, and Zack is shuddering with his orgasm. Cloud works him through it, and runs his hand through the mess Zack has made before wrapping it around his _own_ cock. The movements Cloud uses on himself are not slow; he jerks himself off quickly, with a hand covered in Zack's seed, and when _he_ comes after a minute or two, it joins the rest of the mostly still warm mess on Zack's belly. Cloud just—starts licking his hand clean after that and Zack knows he's staring but he has never actually _seen_ anyone swallow or eat come in person.

Cloud runs two fingers over the mingled mess Zack's belly and offers them to Zack. "I know Aerith doesn't like the taste, but I don't mind it," he says. "Tastes better than latex, anyway. "

…it has honestly never occurred to Zack to taste _himself_ and it's been a long time since he's had sex with another guy, but if Cloud doesn't mind it, well, he can _try_ it. Cloud's fingers are warm against his tongue and the contrast with the by-now cooler slick mess he's feeding Zack is stark. It's—mostly salty, actually, with a vaguely chemical undertone he can't quite identify. "Huh," he says, around those fingers; Cloud drags them back out, slowly, as Zack licks them clean. "The texture's worse than the taste."

Cloud laughs, before disappearing into the bathroom. He comes back with several of washcloths, a couple of which are damp and warm; he is _excruciatingly_ thorough about cleaning Zack's skin, not just his belly but his cock and balls and _everything_ in between. "If you keep that up, there's going to be _more_ to clean up pretty soon," Zack grits out. Cloud stops, lets Zack tug his boxers back up, and curls up half on top of him with his head on Zack's shoulder, his hair ridiculously soft and fine against Zack's cheek. It's been flattening out a little from the weight as it's gotten longer, despite Cloud's hair product, but only a little.

Zack pulls Cloud tight, burying his face in Cloud's hair, breathing it in. Cloud is a lot more physically affectionate now than he ever was as a brat, even with the people he's not sleeping with, but Zack hasn't ever been able to just sit and hold him like this; he's always— _always_ —made sure to only ever accept exactly what Cloud offers him, to never hold on too tight, letting go easily and lightly the second _Cloud_ stepped back, horrified at the idea of ever making Cloud feel trapped or obliged.

"Tifa's right, you're an idiot," Cloud says, biting at Zack's collarbone as emphasis. "If you wanted to hold me, you should've just _said_ something."

Zack chokes back what really, really wants to be a sob. He counts his breaths out instead, steady and slow, each count several seconds—in, two, three; out, two, three, four, five, six. Eventually, he can open his mouth and have his voice come out. It's not even or calm, but at least it's not the wracking sobs that want to shake him. "After everything you've been through, after what _I_ put you through because I wasn't ever _good enough_ , Cloud, there is absolutely fucking _nothing_ on this _fucking_ planet that could make me ask you for anything you didn't hand me first. Alexander and all the Knights could show up riding the rest of the fucking pantheon for mounts and tell me the fate of the planet depended on it, and I'd tell them the fucking planet can _go fuck itself this time_."

Cloud twists in his arms and Zack lets go, immediately. Cloud doesn't spring away, just stares at him. "How fucking long _were_ you just going to sit and suffer?" Cloud demands.

"Wasn't suffering," Zack says, softly. "Every fucking moment I have is a gift I didn't ask for, or earn; just getting to see you whole and _happy_ is a benediction."

Cloud's face scrunches up, clearly _unhappy_ , and the only thing Zack can think is that Cloud doesn't want to be more important than the planet to _anyone_. Which is unfortunate because while he probably wouldn't have chosen to say that, normally, he also isn't going to apologise for it. It might be awful but it's also true.

"I kinda get why Tifa sometimes wanted to drown me now, and I really wish I didn't," Cloud mutters under his breath, after a moment. "Zack, listen, _you_ didn't put me through anything, you fucking saved me. I'd be dead if it weren't for you. I'd be dead and if I weren't dead, I'd be a comatose zombie, and I really do not like the idea that you've been blaming yourself for not… being invincible? Doing even more impossible things than you _already_ did, saving my ass? What the fuck, Zack," he says, cupping Zack's face and resting his forehead against Zack's.

Zack's hands are shaking when he reaches up and lays his right hand over Cloud's left and laces them together, staring up at those beautiful eyes, mako-stained and brilliant.

"I couldn't have done any better than I did. Maybe there's _no one_ who could've done any better," Zack admits. "Sometimes a no-win situation really is no-win. That doesn't change—I'm still _responsible_ , okay? I dragged you into all this shit, and fucked if I am ever dragging you anywhere else again."

Cloud makes an exasperated noise. "Zack, you are an _idiot_. I'm a grown man who can and will say no; you could never drag me anywhere I don't want to go," Cloud says, and the kiss he leans down to give Zack is _filthy_ —Cloud lets go of Zack's face with his right hand to reach into Zack's hair and _pull_ , pain vying for Zack's attention as he demands Zack's mouth with his tongue and teeth, and Zack can barely breathe through it.

"Just _ask_. I want you to be happy," Cloud says, breathing heavily as he breaks the kiss. "I am never going to be good at picking up on the subtle shit and it's not fair to Tifa. _Please_ , just fucking ask, Zack. "

Zack blinks up at Cloud. "Uh—" he says as he tries to yank his brain back from 'yes, please, _more_ ', which is where that kiss left it, and remember what they were even talking about that prompted that response. "Not that I'm complaining about this but I really haven't been unhappy, Cloud, I swear."

The noise Cloud makes at that is even ruder, as he buries his left hand in Zack's hair as well and pulls Zack towards him into a kiss that with feels like it's bruising Zack's lips, his hands in Zack's hair unyielding and tight. It is _incredibly_ fucking hot, Zack's interest stirring under the assault. "Holy _shit_ ," Zack says blankly, as Cloud sets his teeth into the line of Zack's neck, because he was already a 3rd class before the first time he ever got laid and he'd studiously avoided sleeping with other SOLDIERs—which means Zack has never actually kissed or slept with anyone who could, much less _would_ , make anything painful. But that bite of pain running mingled along the same fault lines as the pleasure—and knowing _Cloud_ is strong enough to make it painful—is doing it for Zack in a way that surprises the fuck out of him.

"No, fuck, you don't—you don't need to stop," Zack breathes as Cloud pulls his teeth out of Zack's neck.

"That a request, then?" Cloud asks, his tone dark and amused, and tilts Zack's head back a little with his hands to run his tongue over the bite mark he just left.

" _Please_ ," Zack manages, hips moving, looking for something to rock against, the ache in his cock making him desperate. Cloud obliges him and wedges a thigh between Zack's legs before sinking his teeth into the same bit of neck muscle a little farther down, right above the collarbone. Zack arches up into it and between the pulling on his scalp caused by Cloud's hands still buried tightly in Zack's hair and the sharp pain of the bite on Zack's neck, it's almost _too_ much, but the pressure and sensation against his cock is blissful in contrast. If Zack was embarrassed by the noises he'd been making earlier, the ones he's making now put them to shame; he can't even begin to try to strangle them down to a reasonable volume, now.

Zack shakes, as Cloud skims his teeth over the front of Zack's throat. It doesn't come up much, really, but Zack has generally never let anyone touch the front of his throat, because normally it sets off a pretty violent reaction and did even before he was a SOLDIER. But apparently—going on this single datapoint, anyway—if you throw it in during sex, he freezes. Not like prey, exactly, more like… a willing sacrifice.

"How much prep do you need for anal sex?" Cloud asks, blunt and matter of fact, the same way he'd ask 'how many kegs do we need for next week's order?'. Like this is a totally normal everyday conversation and not like he's asking about anal while Zack is getting off on his fucking _teeth_. "5-10 minutes? Better part of an hour?" Cloud prompts, before he goes after the _other_ side of Zack's neck, sucking a bruise into it.

Zack doesn't manage to respond with anything other than a desperate groan until Cloud relents, letting go of Zack and sitting up. A whine escapes the back of Zack's throat before he finds the will to sit up himself. "I don't know, 5-10 minutes?" he hazards. "I mean, I've never run a stopwatch while someone fingers me, Cloud!"

Zack cracks up watching Cloud tilts his head thoughtfully, like he's contemplating getting one out so _he_ can track it for future reference. "Sorry, I mean, if you _want_ to clock it with a stopwatch, I don't _mind_ ," Zack says, snickering. "Whatever you need."

"You want a condom?" Cloud asks. "Not that it matters much for us, but it's less mess if you care about that."

Zack shakes his head. "Aerith and I only use them because neither of us wants to find out the hard way that she's wrong about her not being able to have a kid," he says. They have _no_ idea what the fuck would happen if Aerith fetched up pregnant, much less by _Zack_ —not that Cloud would be that much better, honestly, given how many trips he's made through the Lifestream—and they have no interest in finding out so Aerith just uses two methods of barrier protection for vaginal sex, same as she always did since hormonal prevention wasn't an option for her even before.

Cloud gets off the bed to go dig through one of the dresser drawers, coming up with something just slightly translucent that clings to the sides as it sloshes around in its bottle when he tosses it onto the bed. "Can't use this stuff with latex," Cloud says. "But Reno and I like it better, when that's not an issue."

Cloud climbs back on the bed and slides his fingers into the waistband of Zack's boxers, getting them off altogether, and gives Zack another of those spine-tingling, sharp kisses. "Hands and knees," he says, in Zack's ear, before he puts his mouth around Zack's earlobe, tongue tracing Zack's earring and the hollows of his ear.

Zack actually ends up in the obscene, bastard child of puppy dog and child's pose, elbows on the bed and a pillow under his chin. Whatever the slick is, it smells like coconut—though, not nearly as intensely as Zack is used to in things that smell of coconut—and whether it's just that Cloud took the time to warm it up or something else, it's not cold when Cloud gets a finger into him. Which is good because Cloud's touch is… well, it's not really painful but it's not especially gentle either; Zack finds himself counting out his breaths again. This is a _much_ better reason for it, at least.

Zack genuinely has no idea how long Cloud spends stretching him, given the trance-like breathing, but when Cloud starts pressing in with his cock, Zack notices the difference between the piercing and the fact Cloud is bigger than anything he's taken up the ass in a long, long time. Even so, the little bit of burn and pressure are nothing on the grip Cloud has on Zack's hips as he pushes in to Zack—enough to actually bruise, maybe.

When Cloud starts _moving_ , it's glorious agony; Cloud's movement is slow and careful the first couple strokes, and then he picks up a little speed and a lot of power. Zack is being shoved into the bed and pillow with the force of it at the end of every push Cloud makes, his hips aching under Cloud's fingers. When Cloud finds just the right angle Zack cries out, blessedly muffled by the pillow under him, fucking _hell_. Cloud keeps taking him like that, hitting his prostrate almost incidentally, and Zack just gives up on his dignity entirely; it's a fair trade, the way it feels to get fucked into the mattress like this.

It doesn't take that long, not considering he's already come once tonight anyway, to get Zack close again. He reaches under himself with a hand to—just catch the worst of the mess, really, he doesn't even get his hand all the way around his cock before he _is_ coming into his hand, gasping. He wipes his hand on the sheet next to the pillow and lays his head down, glad the position he's in doesn't require any real effort because he feels completely wrung out and Cloud is still going. Zack isn't complaining, though; it feels good still, his nerves still lit up even now his own arousal isn't hanging over him.

"Oh, _fuck_ ," he says—well, if Zack's being honest, it's more of a whimper—when Cloud shifts his hands, and it's going to be a miracle if Zack _doesn't_ end up with a mess of bruises on his hips to go with the marks Cloud's left on his neck. It's still startling how good it feels but it _does_ , and the idea of Cloud leaving marks behind, evidence of his touch other people will see, is also hotter than Zack would've thought; just thinking about it has a little bit of heat coiling up low and deep that would probably have Zack getting hard if he hadn't just come and, as it is, just feels comfortable and warm.

"Gonna come," Cloud warns Zack, and his rhythm stutters as he does. Zack is a little disappointed when Cloud pulls out, but he takes the opportunity to roll over onto his back. Cloud collapses on his belly next to Zack.

"Where did my boxers end up?" Zack asks, eventually.

Cloud gestures vaguely to one side of the bed. "Floor, probably," he says. Zack retrieves them, goes to the bathroom to relieve himself and changes back into them once he's done. When he returns to bed, he finds Cloud in a t-shirt and underwear again, reading something on a tablet. Zack lies down next to him and Cloud puts the tablet aside on the night stand and lies down himself and lets Zack pull him in to an embrace.

"File under 'I did _not_ know that about myself': biting, bruises, and being shoved around _will_ actually get me off pretty fucking effectively," Zack says, weakly, into Cloud's hair and holding him close.

Cloud's laughter is beautiful, just like the rest of him. "Zack, you have way too much in common with Reno for that to be an actual surprise," he says, as dry as most of his jokes are.

Zack wants to protest that but he's pretty sure that's just going to get him Cloud giving him shit about it _forever_ and that would be bad enough but given the context there's no way he wouldn't be catching it from Reno, too. So he bites back what he wants to say, and lets himself fall asleep, instead.

He wakes to the noise of the back door opening. It's just before dawn, light filtering in, and Zack figures it's probably Tifa and maybe Aerith, but it's actually Reno who walks in looking like absolute shit covered in mud and blood splatter; his face is clearly the kind of clean that comes from wiping the worst of it off with something and not washing it, and his hair matted with what looks like blood and… _something_ else, viscous and iridescent. Rude, behind him, looks a little cleaner—there's only a little blood spattered across his face and almost none of the iridescent stuff—but not actually a lot _better_. "The blood's mostly not mine, yo," Reno says, forestalling Zack's first question. "Fucking thing exploded next to me after I took out its handler."

"Shinra bullshit, or something I actually need to care about?" Cloud asks, sounding way too alert as he rolls away from Zack, sitting up.

"Open question," Rude says, tiredly. "Let you know when we know. Go back to sleep, we're just gonna shower and catch a couple hours before we report." Reno's already disappeared into the bathroom. Cloud does not lay back down, just stares thoughtfully at Rude.

Zack stares a lot less thoughtfully at Rude as he strips down to his underwear, piling his suit in a trash bag. He has never seen Rude any more undressed than taking his tie off and unbuttoning the collar of his shirt before now. The barbell through his navel is a surprise, though it probably shouldn't be given all the other piercings. " _Fuck_ today," Rude says, fervently. "Haven't slept in thirty hours, gotta wait for the fucking shower, and now I find you fuckers cost me 500 gil."

"What the fuck is the obsession with betting on my sex life," Cloud asks.

"What obsession?" Zack asks, baffled, sitting up himself. "This is a thing? I really feel like I should've heard about this being a thing, I'm a fucking bartender at the bar half the people we know drink at."

"Turks had a bet on me and Tifa, too," Cloud says. "Before Seph ever showed up. Still haven't ever figured out why the fuck any of them _cared_ at that point."

Rude shrugs. "Wasn't betting on _you_ , was betting on Zack. Figured he wasn't any more interested in your dick than I am, Cloud; he's had enough opportunity and it's not like Aerith would complain."

Cloud snorts. "Yeah, thing is, he's an idiot," he says, and Zack isn't going to argue about that right now but he rolls his eyes. "Tifa or Tseng?" Cloud asks.

"Tifa. Tseng said he wasn't taking _any_ bets with her," Rude says, sighing. "I should fucking know better."

Cloud laughs. "You really should. She's the one that told me to kiss Zack, you know," he says, leaning over to do so again. Cloud drops a thumb onto one of the bites he left, gently enough, but Zack bites his lip all the same. "If you don't want to cuddle Reno when he gets out, shove over to the side, I'll stay between you," Cloud tells Zack.

Granted Reno is pretty tactile with _most_ of the clusterfuck, regardless of whether he's fucking them, Zack is still a little bemused. "Did he just not get hugged enough as a kid, or what?" Zack asks.

"Probably not, no," Cloud says drily. "You do know he grew up in the slums, right?"

Zack facepalms, because it hadn't been a serious question, and it's also very, very _Cloud_ to take a rhetorical question seriously just to take the piss out of the question-asker.

Cloud digs his phone out and starts texting someone. While he's doing that, Reno comes out of the bathroom, his hair up in a towel and otherwise naked, and Rude grabs the trash bag and shoves past Reno for his turn.

Reno digs a pair of underwear out of the dresser, and shimmies into it before using the towel to dry his hair. "At least that crap washed out easy," Reno grumbles as he puts his hair up into a bun. "Fucking disgusting, though," he adds with a shudder, and collapses into the bed. "C'mere babe, s'been a _shit_ day."

"I'm always hiring people who can make the runs, Tifa can always use more help in the bar," Cloud says, sunnily. "If you ever wanted to try a job that involves less murder and viscera."

Reno swats at him. "Asshole," he says, fondly, pulling Cloud back down and throwing an arm and a leg over him. "You never make that offer to _Alex_ , yo." 

"That's because Alex is 90% noble ideals by volume," Cloud says. " _You_ actually have a selfish streak." Zack cracks up at that, because that's a pretty accurate description of Alex. It's honestly kind of weird how well they function as a Turk, but the one time Zack had asked, _Alex_ had just started laughing and hadn't stopped for five minutes. He never had gotten an actual answer of any kind out of them.

"Yo, Zack, congrats on finally figuring your shit out," Reno says.

"I didn't really have shit to figure out," Zack says, bemused. "But thanks, I think?"

Reno snickers into Cloud's hair, ruffling it. "Whatever you gotta tell yourself, yo," he says, amused, and Zack has some questions as to what the hell Reno is thinking but Reno's breathing has evened out into what is probably sleep so he shelves it for later.

Rude comes out of the bathroom, sans trash bag and also clothes, and Zack doesn't really give a shit about the nudity in general but he could specifically have lived without knowing exactly where Cloud had probably gotten the idea to get his cock pierced.

Zack hadn't ever given any thought to what might change as a result of sleeping with Cloud because he'd never expected it to happen but if he _had_ , Reno and Rude's modesty evaporating entirely is not a consequence he would have predicted. Uncomfortably thorough knowledge of Rude's piercings aside, though, it's actually kind of soothing; it reminds Zack of his fonder memories of SOLDIER, the camaraderie and comfort the 2nds and 1sts especially had had around each other.

Rude changes into fresh underwear of his own, takes his glasses off and folds them up neatly before putting them on the night stand and falling into bed on the other side of Reno. "Trash bag with our shit in it s'in the shower," Rude says. "Not sure how corrosive that crap is, so."

Cloud hms in acknowledgement, shifting a little under Reno's embrace. "Tifa's at Aerith's but she'll be over in a couple hours, if you want to say hi before you leave; I'll be gone, dunno about Zack."

"By 'say hi', you mean sex, right?" Zack asks. "Because if they're having sex, yes, I will be gone, I'm not Aerith."

Rude's laughter is warm and quiet. Zack has heard Rude laugh before but it's rare; Rude's sense of humour is very dry, and his affect is pretty blank in general. Zack's kind of pleased to have elicited that laughter, he's fond of it. It's always nice seeing the little glimpses of the person under that intimidating presentation that Tifa and Reno, and even Cloud and Aerith in their own ways, care so much for. "Be nice, yeah, but probably not," Rude says and he sounds exhausted. "Maybe _tomorrow_. Still funny you don't like watching, considering your girlfriend."

Zack makes a face to himself. It doesn't bother him that Aerith is as much of a voyeur as she is—she was even when they were young, and when they came back she'd forgotten entirely what normal boundaries even look like and, given who they spend most of their time with, she hasn't had a lot of reason to re-learn it—but he doesn't really get it either. Watching someone else do stuff has never been his thing, regardless of the activity; he'd rather get in and do things for himself. "Well, she enjoys it enough for the both of us," he says, drily, and rolls over to put his face in the crook of Cloud's neck and lets himself drift back off.

Zack does end up with Reno plastered to him, in the end. When Cloud gets up, prising himself free of the redhead to go wherever the fuck he's going at this hour of the morning, Reno rolls over and attaches himself to Zack instead of Rude. Zack doesn't actually mind; it's honestly vastly _less_ sexual than the few times Reno has ended up in his lap, tipsy and affectionate.

It does mean when Tifa wakes them up coming in disgustingly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, she's laughing. "How did you get stuck being Reno's teddy bear, Zack?" she asks, when Zack blinks up at her. Reno makes an irritated noise and pulls Zack closer.

"Well, he was using Cloud, but Cloud bailed," Zack says, rubbing at his eyes. "Why Reno went for me and not his partner, I couldn't tell you."

"I can cuddle Rude whenever," Reno mutters crankily into Zack's shoulder, as Tifa leans down to kiss Rude.

"Right, so—for the novelty, apparently. Hey, did Aerith find her flower?" Zack asks.

Tifa laughs ruefully, sitting down on the bed as Rude stirs himself to put his glasses back on. "Sadly… yes. It _stank_ , so badly; turns out they call it a corpse flower for a reason. I do not understand what's exciting about a flower that smells like that."

Reno grumbles as Rude pulls him away from Zack. "Ugh, fuck this whole fuckin' day," Reno says, pulling his hair out of the bun and finger-combing it. "I hate monsters, I hate fuckheads who don't surrender, and I hate reporting on them even more. I want a fuckin' weekend in Costa del Sol, yo."

Rude goes into the closet and returns with two garment bags while Zack sits up. "Agreed," Rude says, throwing one of the garment bags at Reno before unzipping the other. "Probably not happening, but _fuck_ this fucking day. Maybe we can at least get a weekend _here_ out of Tseng after we clean up this shitshow."

Rude gets dressed remarkably quickly, including tying his tie; once done, he goes into the bathroom, comes out looking annoyed, and grabs a spare bedsheet for some reason before returning to the bathroom. "The iridescent shit apparently eats through plastic and not fabric," Rude says, when he returns again with a large bundle in the bedsheet. Reno, meanwhile, has only just gotten his shirt buttoned and is shimmying into his slacks.

Tifa tilts her head. "Do I _want_ to know?"

"You really don't, babe," Reno says. "But you had a way better night than we did, promise."

Reno kisses Tifa lightly before shrugging his jacket on while Rude kisses her deeply, and then they're gone out the back. Tifa's shaking her head, smiling, as she asks, "You _did_ sleep with Cloud, didn't you?"

Zack runs a hand over the back and side of his neck. "Uh, yeah. Thank you?"

Tifa looks at him, consideringly, for a long moment. "You're welcome," she says, eventually. "You deserve to be just as happy as the rest of us, even if you don't believe it."

Zack shakes his head at that. "I really don't get where you and Cloud are coming up with this idea I've been unhappy," he says. He really doesn't; what he'd had was plenty. It's nice, it's wonderful to have this, to know he can kiss Cloud and hold onto him and that isn't asking for something Cloud might not want, but he doesn't need it.

Tifa smiles faintly. "'Not being happy' and 'being unhappy' aren't the same thing," she says, gently. "Aerith wasn't ever going to notice, and honestly it took _me_ a pretty long time to realise what I was seeing, you don't brood or pine like most people. But you really do deserve everything that makes you happy just as much as the rest of us. And Cloud would _want_ you to be. I mean, _I_ want you to be happy, you're a good man and you've been through so much and you mean so much to Aerith and Cloud and Seph. And I knew you weren't going to ever do anything and Cloud was never going to notice on his own, and I _know_ Cloud as well as anyone does… so I pushed, just a little."

Zack doesn't really know what to say to that. He's definitely not upset Tifa pushed Cloud at him, but he also doesn't know what to do other than laugh at the idea he's broody or pining. "Fleeced Rude while you were at it, too," Zack says, for lack of anything else to say.

Tifa's laughter is as glitteringly bright and sparkling as the goddess she carries a spark of. "He can afford it," is all she says.

"Yeah, probably," Zack agrees.

Tifa reaches over push Zack back into the bed. "Go back to sleep til you wake, Zack," she says, kindly. "I'll get the bar."

Normally Zack would have the bar today, including prep, but if Tifa's willing to take it, he's not going to say no. He drifts back off, grateful for everyone they know.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so, Zack is a special case of angsty pining idiot! He confounded Tifa for _months on end_ , because he's non-dramatic and not obviously broody about it and she's calibrated to… dramatic/broody, between Cloud's history and Vincent. Y'see, Zack doesn't go "oh no, I must hide myself from the love and attention I am unworthy of!!" and run away. Nope. He goes, "if I'm very, very quiet, and I never draw their attention to it, _maybe they don't notice I don't_ deserve _this and it doesn't get taken away_ ," and thus just basks quietly in the reflected light of the person he adores so much.
> 
> Tifa got his number eventually, though, heh. Just took her awhile. Cos, yeah, he still totally does WANT to cuddle Cloud, lol have you seen their life stories. Of course he wants to cuddle Cloud, given the opportunity. He was just not going to let himself! Or do any of the other things he'd like to do with Cloud. Fortunately for him, Tifa and Cloud are not having that shit.


End file.
